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It is also normal to be attracted to someone of your own gender, but you only have relationships with someone of the opposite gender. Relationship Questions: Q- What is a healthy relationship? A- A healthy relationship is one of mutual respect, trust, good communication, understanding and honesty.

It should be a positive experience for both people involved. A — There is no magic answer to standing up to peer pressure, it does take courage. For example, if you are going to a party and you know there will be drinking there, think ahead how you will handle the situation. If you are holding a water bottle you are less likely to be offered a drink. Can you text your parents a code word and they call you and tell you to come home?

With good friends, no explanation may be needed.

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A — There are no rules for this, but trust that gut again! Dating and flirting is a normal and super fun part of growing up. Enjoy it. Q — Do you have to have a girlfriend? A — Having a girlfriend or a boyfriend is not essential. Q — What makes a relationship last? A relationship will last if you support each other and feel good about yourselves.

Q — What traits are unhealthy in a relationship? A — In unhealthy relationships, people are not treating each other well or with respect. Often one person is trying to be the boss or using power over the other person. How to respect relationships A Respectful relationship is one of mutual respect, trust, good communication, understanding and honesty.

Any of these sound familiar? If so, It may be time to end the relationship. Q — How to know when a relationship is good? Healthy relationships involve communication, negotiation, consent. They are respectful relationships that you can have with anyone in your life, including whanau, friends, and dating partners.

Do they listen and support you? Enjoy spending time with you, and also without you?

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Can you tell them your problems? Do you feel safe with them? Questions about breaking up from a relationship: Q — How do you leave a toxic relationship? A — Great advise here: Scarleteen. Q — Should you trust someone after they cheat on you? A — Great article here: She Blossoms. Questions about abusive relationships: Q- Are their any other types of ways to abuse other than physical, mental and emotional? Like any other way? A- Well done for realising abuse can be much more than physical. Abuse can come in many forms. All of the ones you mentioned as well as financial, neglect, and sexual abuse.

Q — Why do people stay with people who are abusive? A — Interesting question this one. What do you think? Maybe they think it was a one- time only thing, or that they will change.

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Perhaps the person being abused think they are the only ones that can change them. They might think that having an abusive partner is better than no partner at all. Abusers are manipulative. They will apologize and tell you they are sorry and ask for forgiveness.


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They will then be a really great boyfriend or girlfriend for a while, until something changes and the abuse happens again. Please know that Abusive relationships are not OK. They only get worse, they do not get better. You have a right to be safe, and the abuser needs help. Please look at the numbers at the back of the Mates and Dates book or call if you are at immediate risk. Well done for realizing that you need to talk to an adult about this. Are you still in this relationship? Do you need help not being in this relationship? Are you at risk right now?

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I would pick a time when there are few distractions. Right before bed? During a car ride? Tell your parents you have something serious you want to talk to them about. Sometimes parents need time to process information, and they may not say the best thing first. You need to come up with a plan together.

Your safety is the most important thing, it is never your fault. Check out the last page of your Mates and Dates Workbook for lots of websites and support phone numbers. Q -What should someone do if their parents are manipulative? A — Sigh. Parents can be hard work.

Share something that your teacher said, small talk about your friends. This will help keep your relationship comfortable. Try easing into strained conversations, mention a cute thing your dog did, compliment your brother for doing well in math. Just try to get some positive vibes in the house. Do you want advice? Tell them. Do you want them to be quiet and just listen? Let them know.

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It will make it harder for your parents to take you seriously. Not going well? Go let off some steam and try again later.


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Who else is in your life? Find an adult who will listen, understand, encourage and believe in you. A — Do you think they will be OK with this? Look at communication skills. Good luck. Q — Learn about sex A — Check out the back of the Mates and Dates book for heaps of good online resources.