A- Well done for realising abuse can be much more than physical. Abuse can come in many forms. All of the ones you mentioned as well as financial, neglect, and sexual abuse. Q — Why do people stay with people who are abusive? A — Interesting question this one. What do you think?
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Maybe they think it was a one- time only thing, or that they will change. Perhaps the person being abused think they are the only ones that can change them.
They might think that having an abusive partner is better than no partner at all. Abusers are manipulative. They will apologize and tell you they are sorry and ask for forgiveness. They will then be a really great boyfriend or girlfriend for a while, until something changes and the abuse happens again.
Please know that Abusive relationships are not OK. They only get worse, they do not get better. You have a right to be safe, and the abuser needs help. Please look at the numbers at the back of the Mates and Dates book or call if you are at immediate risk. Well done for realizing that you need to talk to an adult about this. Are you still in this relationship?
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Do you need help not being in this relationship? Are you at risk right now? I would pick a time when there are few distractions. Right before bed? During a car ride? Tell your parents you have something serious you want to talk to them about. Sometimes parents need time to process information, and they may not say the best thing first. You need to come up with a plan together. Your safety is the most important thing, it is never your fault.
Check out the last page of your Mates and Dates Workbook for lots of websites and support phone numbers. Q -What should someone do if their parents are manipulative? A — Sigh. Parents can be hard work. Share something that your teacher said, small talk about your friends.
This will help keep your relationship comfortable. Try easing into strained conversations, mention a cute thing your dog did, compliment your brother for doing well in math. Just try to get some positive vibes in the house. Do you want advice? Tell them. Do you want them to be quiet and just listen?
Let them know. It will make it harder for your parents to take you seriously. Not going well? Go let off some steam and try again later. Who else is in your life? Find an adult who will listen, understand, encourage and believe in you. A — Do you think they will be OK with this? Look at communication skills. Good luck. Q — Learn about sex A — Check out the back of the Mates and Dates book for heaps of good online resources.
We will be spending 5 weeks talking about all sorts of issues around sex such as Consent, gender and sexual identity, when things go wrong, and how we can keep safe together.
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A — A million songs and poems have been written trying to answer this question. I think romantic Love refers to a deep, tender feeling of affection towards someone. Of course there are other types of love, like love you have for a friend, or a sibling and your pet. A — I think sex can and should be fun! But it should also be taken seriously. Ask yourself, am I ready for this? Do I want to have sex?
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Do I want to have sex with this person? How can I protect myself against pregnancy or Sexually Transmitted Infections? Remember, you cannot give consent to have sex if you are under the age of Sex will be way more fun when you are ready. Details are on their website. This means that a woman or girl of any age can agree consent to have an abortion or refuse to have one. No-one can force you to have an abortion or to continue a pregnancy. It is also your decision who you tell about the procedure — this includes your parent and parents. If you are a teenager, it is a good idea to talk to a parent or another trusted adult.
If you do choose to seek an abortion, it is good to have adult support.
You will need to see two doctors who must agree that you have good reasons for the abortion under New Zealand abortion law. More information here. Q — If you are infertile is that good? A — Being infertile, means you are medically unable to get pregnant, or to get someone pregnant.
Whether that is good or not, depends on your views of having children. Q — Is adoption a good thing? A — I think it can be a very good thing, It means, someone who was unable to take care of their baby gives their child to someone who can. If you need to talk to someone about adoption or if you think you are pregnant you can talk confidentially to a nurse or counsellor at your local Family planning. Often people feel it as cramping in their lower abdominal, or as back pain. Grab that hot water bottle, do some gentle exercise, and make sure you are taking care of yourself with plenty of sleep and eating healthy foods.
Talk to someone you trust, a parent, an auntie, your school nurse etc. And how can you hide it from your parents? If you are pregnant, or think you are pregnant, you need to talk to a doctor or nurse as soon as possible. They will be able to offer you confidential support and discuss the options that you have.
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If you decide to carry on with the pregnancy, you will not be able to hide it from your family. You need medical support, and your baby needs medical support. A plan will need to be made for when the baby arrives. If you are too afraid to talk to your parents, please think about who else is in your life that can help you. Is there one friend that you trust?